Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Bit of a brouhahaha

Apologies for getting distracted again and what-not, but Havildar Prakash has got himself into a spot of trouble with the law - chap came home as pleased as punch the other night, as the local women's institute had invited him to give a Nepalese kukri demonstration.

He spent half the night sharpening the blade to combat-readiness and making sure everything was ready, and then only minutes after sallying forth into the lionesses' den (so to speak) found his collar being felt by the constabulary.

Apparently the silly bints had meant 'Nepalese cookery', and were shocked to find a blade-wielding dhobi-wallah in their midst.

No serious injuries beyond the odd flesh-wound, Doc Linstead assures me, but he vouchsafed I would be thought well of in the village if I offered to replace the women's institute minute book, floral arrangement and church hall table, each of which were sliced clean in two.

Donations to the bail fund gratefully received, at the usual address.

1 comment:

  1. Point taken, old man. There's a postal order on its way to the local bobbies to help make good any damage that young Prakash might cause to their stairs etc.

    Reminds me of the time some forward type at a school in Shrewsbury - turns out there's more than one - asked me over to talk about my experience of the ways of the Mohammedans to her inky charges.

    I went one better, and brought with me Mullah Dwinakari, who was visiting from Peshawar for to restore moral order among the Pathan cabbies of Telford.

    Old Omar had brought his patent self-circumcising kit with him and, after a surfeit of bhang, proceeded to demonstrate how he liked to trim back his extra growth ("قینچ شیطان کی وگ" as he put it!)

    Cut a long story short, he spent a fair while in the local stockade as well. One of my own construction, I'm pleased to say, and well maintained by local tinker types for a small consideration.

    No idea what became of him, but he had set an example of pious yet practical religion that puts many a modern padre to shame.